Celebrate Your Holidays Like Rose

You guys haven't lived until you've done the holidays the way I do them!

Valentine's Day: Snuggle up with someone you like enough for now and hatewatch the Sex and the City episode where Carrie judges bisexuals

Halloween: Janky haunted house: get high in the afternoon and go to Hollister. Don't wear a costume, be in bed by 9.

Thanksgiving: Help with the cooking, then Skype your extended family in Texas and casually bring up abortion.

Christmas: Wear slouchy sweaters that are not as photogenic as you wish they were. Spend the time between Christmas and New Years having small panic attacks in your childhood bedroom. Watch old episodes of What Not To Wear with your family and gossip about how apparently Stacey and Clinton hate each other now.