Work It

I woke up about 10 times during the night last night, a spot on the underside of my right arm was sending shooting pains all the way down the right side of my body. When I permawoke around noon (heyyyyy Sunday morning) I saw that Half Asleep Rose I had fashioned a way to rest my throbbing arm on a pile of pillows slightly above my head (you’re supposed to elevate ailing limbs right? sleepy Rose really fixated on that) in a way that calmed the aching enough for me to fall asleep but (bonus!) caused my shoulder to fall asleep. Which is possible, apparently.

Basically- if you think you’re working your triceps out enough, you probably aren’t, and once a large, infuriatingly positive man with a headset mic starts yelling at you to pick up a heavy ass weight and lift it repeatedly over your head you will finally have an opportunity to understand true, agonizing, delayed muscle pain.

This particular misery was dealt by OrangeTheory Fitness. My best guess is that the Theory is just that that everything should be orange and expensive. I not so secretly love going to these types of classes. I can sniff out a new student special like no one else. But I stand extremely firm in my persistent poverty once the schpiels start about “becoming a member” and “class packages” and “fitness goals” and “bank details” and “my first born” and “don’t try to escape haha just kidding." I like to pick a spot on the wall right behind the person pitching to me and think about which Epicurious search terms I’m going to plug in to plan for replenishing every single calorie I burned once it becomes polite for me to take my phone out. Sometimes I nod a little so they think I’m listening, all the while just thinking “bacon..harissa… spring-form pan” on a loop.